We are currently taking applications for qualified counsellors and for trainee counsellors looking for a placement

Being worried about your child is a natural part of being a parent and recent surveys have found that worrying about your child’s emotional health is the top of those worries. When the issues affecting a child are emotional, rather than physical, it can make you feel powerless to help. We would all hope that our children open up and talk to us about what is affecting them but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes it is easier to open up to someone other than family or friends.

If you are worried about your child’s behaviour or emotional health then maybe counselling could help. CASY counsellors are available in some schools throughout Nottinghamshire and Lincolnshire so it is worth talking to your child’s school pastoral team to see what support is available.

How Counselling Might Help Your Child

Anyone at any age, from child to adult, may benefit from counselling at points in their life. Children and young people have counselling for lots of reasons, some are learning how to manage feelings like anger and sadness, some may be coping with loss, some may need help with friendship groups, and some just don’t feel right and want to feel better.

Counselling is a process where from a safe and supportive environment the counsellor will help your child, or the person you care for, learn how to help themselves. It will help them work through their difficulties and work out coping strategies. The main aims of counselling are:

  • To support the child to make changes in their life
  • To learn to understand and cope with difficult emotions
  • To identify specific problems
  • To identify goals the child would like to work on

Our counsellors have been carefully selected for their experience and their ability to understand the pressures and conflicts young people face today and are all checked through the Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) to assess their suitability to work with young people.

Supporting Someone in Counselling

Counselling is a process where from a safe and supportive environment the counsellor will help your child, or the person you care for, learn how to help themselves. It will help them work through their difficulties and develop coping strategies. As a parent or carer it is natural that you will want to be involved as much as possible and support that process. We have put this short guide together to help you understand how you can be involved in a way that will most support your child, or the person you care for.

Before the Counselling Begins

It is important that you explain to your child that they are coming to counselling at least a few days before their first session. Counselling is a voluntary process and to gain the most from it the person entering it should be aware of what is involved.

  • Be mindful that counselling isn’t always a quick fix solution. It is quite natural for things to seem not to change or to seem more difficult before they start to get better or easier.

The First Session

Bring your child along to the first session in good time and be aware that they may feel reluctant to go in. If it helps you can come into the first few minutes of the first session to make sure your child is settled.

About Each Session

The counselling sessions will be at the same time and day each week and will last 50 minutes. An average number of sessions would be between six and eight but the process will last as long as it needs to. You can also support by:

  • Helping the young person to recognise the value of consistent attendance of sessions.
  • Respecting their choice to attend (or to not attend) their session.
  • Trying to let go of any expectations that your child will automatically, or wish to, tell you what is said or happens in their session.
  • Letting CASY know if you are planning on missing a session, or if your child is unable to attend for some reason.

After the Session

Counselling is a private and personal relationship between the counsellor and the client. Some children or young people will want to talk about their experience and some won’t. It is important to let your child decide what is best for them and respect their privacy. At times your child may seem more upset following a session, this might be that the session brought up difficult emotions. Show empathy and support but again, respect their privacy.

  • Give the young person the space and time to share their thoughts and feelings if and when they are ready to do so
  • Support them to express how they are feeling.
  • It is important to trust the therapeutic relationship by trusting your child’s counsellor and your child. It is completely understandable that you will want to let the counsellor know the issues that you are seeing at home but please remember that the person in counselling has to bring this to the session by themselves. The young person needs to feel that the sessions are a safe place to talk about what they want to talk about.

Take Care of Yourself

Be aware that you may find this process as hard as your child, or the person you care for, does. It is important to recognise that the issues affecting your child, or the person you care for, may have an impact on you. It can be a difficult and emotional time and children can often take it out on those closest to them.
You might even be blaming yourself or thinking you’re a bad parent; you aren’t! You have brought them along to counselling, it shows you love and care for them and want to help them.

More Information and Support

To support children and young people we know we need to support their parents and carers. We, therefore, offer a range of services aimed at supporting this group in helping to understand their children and the people they care for; and aimed at supporting them and their own emotional health and wellbeing. We deliver:

  • ‘What is Counselling’ talks – that help you understand the counselling process and offer you the chance to ask questions about it
  • ‘Who Am I’ workshop – this is a four week course that will help you build healthier relationships with those around you. It will help with self-esteem, assertiveness, listening skills and working with others.
  • Counselling Service – we also offer a counselling service to the parents and carers of the young people we support.

Further Resources

Parents Guide to Self-Harm

Common Questions

What Happens in a Counselling Session?

The sessions are led by your child.

The counsellor is trained to reflect their thoughts and feelings and support them in making change.

For Primary school age children this may involve play therapy where children can work out their emotions through play as well as talking if the child engages this way. Sometimes older children and young people engage through play and art too.

How Long Does Counselling Last?

As a general rule counselling will last for between six and eight sessions but that is a very general rule. It could be more or it could be less. It will last as long as it needs to but by starting with an actual number it can help focus the process.

Can I Ask What Happens in the Sessions?

Counselling is a private and personal relationship between the counsellor and the client. Some children or young people will want to talk about their experience and some won’t. It is important to let your child decide what is best for them and respect their privacy. At times your child may seem more upset following a session, this might be that the session brought up difficult emotions. Show empathy and support but again, respect their privacy.

You may also be tempted to try and talk to your child’s counsellor, this is absolutely natural as you want to look after your child. It would, however, break the trust and the confidential relationship between the counsellor and the client if the counsellor spoke to you about the sessions. Trust is the crucial element in successful counselling and only under very exceptional circumstances would a counsellor talk about a client and that includes talking to a parent.

Can I Refer My Child Without Their Permission?

No. Counselling is a voluntary process and its success is determined by the willingness of the person being counselled to be there. If you think your child would benefit from counselling you must talk it through with them first and get their consent.

What Should I Do If I Think My Child Needs Counselling?

If you think your child needs more help than friends and family or their GP or CAMHs team can offer then get in touch with us. CASY counsellors are available in many schools, at our head office in Newark and an increasing number of community venues throughout Nottinghamshire and Lincolnshire.